{"id":23154,"date":"2026-01-29T15:07:48","date_gmt":"2026-01-29T15:07:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/budgetadirect.com\/?p=23154"},"modified":"2026-01-29T15:07:51","modified_gmt":"2026-01-29T15:07:51","slug":"survey-more-than-2-in-5-americans-believe-financial-secrets-are-at-least-as-bad-as-cheating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/budgetadirect.com\/?p=23154","title":{"rendered":"Survey: More Than 2 In 5 Americans Believe Financial Secrets Are At Least As Bad As Cheating"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Money is an uncomfortable topic for many, yet it\u2019s an important ongoing conversation to have in a relationship. Financial secrets undermine trust. And for many, it may even feel like betrayal.<\/p>\n

More than 2 in 5 U.S. adults (43%) believe keeping financial secrets is at least as bad as physical infidelity. At the same time, almost half of Americans (45%) in committed relationships (defined in this survey as married, living together or in a civil partnership) admit they don\u2019t know everything about their spouse\u2019s or partner\u2019s finances.<\/p>\n

For Rhonda Noordyk, a certified divorce financial analyst and CEO of The Women\u2019s Financial Wellness Center, these findings aren\u2019t surprising.<\/p>\n

\u201cMost of the time people are not sitting around singing Kumbaya around the finances,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

While it may be common to not discuss every credit card transaction, bigger secrets can impact relationships \u2014 and livelihoods. According to the survey, almost 1 in 10 of Americans in committed relationships (9%) are keeping major sources of debt, expenses or income secret from their partner, according to the survey. In her practice, Noordyk has seen people taking out home equity lines in secret, card statements revealing actual affairs and spouses using secrecy with money as a lever of power and control.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Learn what financial secrets people tend to keep \u2014 and why they do it.<\/p>\n

\u201cSecrets can take on a life of their own, undermining trust and the relationship. The fix is communication. You don\u2019t necessarily need to combine all of your finances with your partner, but you do need to be aware of where your money is going. Even if you each agree to maintain some separate accounts, it\u2019s important to understand the parameters and work together on shared financial goals.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

38% believe financial infidelity is as bad as physical cheating<\/h2>\n

Almost 2 in 5 Americans (38%) think that financial infidelity is just as bad as physical cheating, and 5% believe it\u2019s worse.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Noordyk says this is due to the \u201ctrust factor.\u201d Once someone realizes their significant other has been keeping a financial secret, they might begin to question their partner\u2019s honesty in other areas of the relationship.<\/p>\n

Besides, while certain secrets can be innocuous, others are downright toxic.<\/p>\n

Noordyk remembers participating in a mediation with a client \u2014 a woman going through a divorce. During negotiations, they were talking about life insurance and retirement, and it came to light that the husband had changed the beneficiaries on his life insurance. For their entire 20-year marriage, the wife thought she was the beneficiary and had no clue that had changed.<\/p>\n

The client asked Noordyk what would have happened if the husband died. She responded that all the money would have gone directly to the people he had named as beneficiaries. The wife wouldn\u2019t have gotten any of it.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I just remember the look on her face,\u201d Noordyk says. \u201cIt was almost like she had been sucker punched in the stomach.\u201d<\/p>\n

Almost half of Americans don\u2019t know everything about their spouse or partner\u2019s finances<\/h2>\n

While most Americans (55%) who are in committed relationships believe they know everything about their significant other\u2019s finances, almost half (45%) believe that they don\u2019t.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What isn\u2019t being shared isn\u2019t always considered a major secret \u2014 1 in 4 (25%) say they\u2019re keeping secret only minor sources of debt, expenses or income. And about 1 in 10 (11%) say they aren\u2019t discussing credit scores, credit histories, sources of savings or investments. However, about 1 in 10 (9%) say they\u2019re keeping secret what they consider to be major sources of debt, expenses or income.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Noordyk, who works primarily with women, says her clients often say they wish they\u2019d been more involved and aware of what\u2019s going on with their partner\u2019s or spouse\u2019s finances.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThey wish that they would have asked more questions,\u201d she says.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In one divorce case she worked, a husband tried to limit and manage his wife\u2019s monthly credit card use while providing her no cash. Since he\u2019d made her an authorized user, he had full visibility into her spending but didn\u2019t disclose his own. She had no access to the statements.<\/p>\n

\u201cI also think it comes down to power and control,\u201d Noordyk says. \u201cThere\u2019s this element of entitlement\u2026 of wanting to have the power, and the money is a great way for them to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Among those not sharing financial information with their spouse or partner, more than 1 in 4 (28%) say they should be allowed to keep some information to themselves. Additionally, 15% say they don\u2019t want the other person to know, and 14% say they would feel embarrassed if the other person knew. Most (43%), however, believe their spouse or partner simply wouldn\u2019t care if they were told.<\/p>\n

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\nhttps:\/\/infogram.com\/2025-financial-infidelity-sentiments-1h9j6q7597plv4g\n<\/p>\n<\/figure>\n

Most baby boomer couples say they know everything about each other\u2019s finances<\/h2>\n

The survey data also reveals some generational differences. Namely, baby boomers are more likely to say they know everything about their spouse\u2019s or partner\u2019s finances. To compare, 64% of boomers (ages 62-80) in committed relationships say they know everything about each other\u2019s finances. In contrast, 53% of millennials (ages 30-45), 51% of Gen Xers (ages 46-61) and 44% of Gen Zers (ages 18-29) say the same.<\/p>\n

Noordyk hypothesizes that this generational divide isn\u2019t because younger people are more prone to secrecy around their money.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know if it\u2019s necessarily they\u2019re actually keeping secrets, or if it\u2019s just the nature of how they\u2019re handling their finances,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Younger couples are more likely to keep their finances separate, Noordyk explains. Due to this, they naturally have less access to their spouse\u2019s or partner\u2019s information.<\/p>\n

How to protect yourself from financial infidelity<\/h2>\n

You don\u2019t need to be aware of every little transaction on your significant other\u2019s credit card statement to create a sense of awareness and honesty around your shared financial situation. Here\u2019s how to achieve it.<\/p>\n

Identify shared goals<\/h3>\n

\u201cThe conversation is less about full transparency as much as it is\u2026 [about] identifying what some of their shared goals may be,\u201d Noordyk says.<\/p>\n

Have a conversation with your spouse or partner about long- and short-term financial goals, as well as how you\u2019ll work together to achieve them.<\/p>\n

Create a safe space for questions<\/h3>\n

Noordyk recommends finding a way to get things set up that allows for both parties to access financial information. Additionally, \u201cthere has to be an opportunity for them to be able to ask questions without being dismissed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stay vigilant<\/h3>\n

While you\u2019re protecting your relationship from financial secrecy, make sure to protect yourself too. There\u2019s always risk involved in merging your money with someone else\u2019s, even if you don\u2019t fully combine finances.<\/p>\n

Noordyk recommends:<\/p>\n